Rules of the Road


1) If you're in the left lane and there's no one in front of you for a good 100 yards, but there's a line of cars behind you, YOU ARE THE TRAFFIC problem. MOVE B#%@* get out the way!

2) It's a lost easier to merge into interstate traffic if you're going the same speed as the interstate traffic....feel free to accelerate on the on-ramp....

3) If you find it difficult to talk and drive, pull over and talk. Alternatively, shut up and drive.

4) Do not get in the left lane as soon as you get on the interstate if you're not passing anyone. You look like an idiot being passed by grandma in the right lane.

5) Taking your foot off of the accelerator will slow your car down. If you see brake lights 300 yards away, do not panic and slam your brakes; just decrease/eliminate pressure on the gas pedal. When you brake, he brakes, she brakes, we all brake!

6) If driving makes you nervous, please stay on secondary roads whenever possible!!

7) No matter how nice your rims are, or how clean your car is, or how tight your sound system is, it's impossible to be cool on the interstate, no matter how slow you go. Save the profiling for the park.

8) If there is no traffic on the exist ramp you wish to use, don't slow down on the interstate until you are actually within 200 feet or so of the decelartion ramp. Brakes cause traffic.
9) If there's a state trooper on the side of the road, don't brake if you aren't speeding. The cop had your speed long before you saw him anyway!