I had just arrived in sunny Jamaica. Granted we were a day late due to some birth certificate issues on Monday. But we figure since the wedding and reception went so ridiculously well, if something had to go wrong, let it be missing a day on the honeymoon. In hindsight, it just added to the anticipation.
The first sign that I knew we were in Jamaica was when we landed. Yes, I know that's an obvious sign but there's more to it than that. For the entire flight, the flight attendant had used her normal voice. She had a Jamaican accent but that was about the only noticeable aspect of her voice. As soon as we land though, she went from normal flight attendant to some 'just had an orgasm and I need a cigarette voice'. I mean she literally started with a breathy, seductive, 'man I want to do whatever it is she did during landing' "Welcome To Jamaica". It was so blatant that passengers were looking around for strewn clothes leading to a secret queen size bed on the plane somewhere.....
The second sign that I was in Jamaica was the extremely hot airport. At the time of course it was welcome since the weather was the reason we were there in the first place. But after returning to the airport a week later to go back home, I realized that the damn airport is humid and hot and in places quite malodorous.....
So after getting through immigration, we are directed to the Couples Negril waiting room where we receive a warm welcome and ice cold RED STRIPE.....mmm. Little did I know how much Red Stripe I would consume in the following days.
Once the bus arrives to take us from Montego Bay to Negril, I realize I'm in a different world. It's remarkably sunny, like summertime sunny, like wow my eyes hurt so good sunny. As we start our drive I damn near have a heart attack because they drive on the left hand side of the road. I didn't realize at the time that the initial scare was the first of many when riding in automobiles in Jamaica.
To be continued.....
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