The 2009 Job Search

There was a time when if you lost your job, your next step was to go and apply for new jobs.  This is still logical to me.  However, every career resource, counselor, career coach, and 'they' in general now tell you to not spend your day applying for jobs on the internet.  Instead, they say network.

Get out and meet people. Go have coffee or lunch.  Here's the problem with that approach.  First, the networking approach is great if you're the kind of person that loves chitchat, loves to sit and talk, loves to make conversation.  But what if you're not that kind of person.  What if you have conversations with people because you have something very specific to say.  I love my family and friends dearly.  But they will probably tell you I am one of the least likely people they expect to get a just-to-say-hello phone call from.  Those same friends will tell you I'm just as amiable, friendly, and non-introverted as can be in a casual atmosphere.  I'm not comfortable talking to people if I know in the back of my mind I want something from them.

Two, getting out and meeting people costs money.  And well, I'm unemployed.  Going out for coffee and lunch to network isn't something I can readily justify.  Further, I hate the feeling that some of my employed friends feel the need to pay for things if I do meet them out.  I understand that's probably an ego thing that I should quickly get over but it's part of me.  I've spent a good part of my adult life asking for help from no one other than my parents and that I have kept to a very strict minimum, intentionally.  I pride myself on truly being grown and even the task of networking seems a little bit like asking for a hand.   I know it's illogical....

Third, most of the people that I have had the fortune to network with have, well, been unemployed themselves.  And I understand the networking mantra is that every connection counts but unemployed people getting together with other unemployed people is kind of like alcoholics gathering without a moderator.

Part of this post is frustration.  I'm tired of looking for a job.  I'm tired of trying to network.  I'm tired of feeling pretty useless.  Friends and family, do not worry.  This is a vent.  Though I do feel useless, I know I'm not useless and I know my place in this world not only for me but for my family and friends.  Still, a large part of my self esteem was, unbeknownst to me, tied to my being a head of household, to pulling my weight.