Sunday, November 22, 2009

Top 5 Famous/Rich Folks Who Don't Deserve Their Fame

[picapp align="none" wrap="false" link="term=Kim+Kardashian&iid=6829131" src="7/c/3/9/Kim_Kardashian_at_b8b5.JPG?adImageId=7739813&imageId=6829131" width="500" height="769" /]
Since I have never gone a month without at least one entry in Xpinionated, I bring to you the Top 5 Famous Rich Folks Who Don't Deserve Their Fame.

5) Jared from Subway. His diet and weight reduction plan was based on a Subway diet. Are we to believe it was due substantially to his diet and an insignificant amount of weight loss was due to exercise? And if that's the case, why aren't the The Biggest Loser episodes just a bunch of challenges to get to Subway, kinda like The Biggest Loser meets The Amazing Race...The Biggest Amazing Loser Race. Yeah, Jared shouldn't be rich and shouldn't be famous for doing what he should have been doing in the first place.

4) Flavor Flav. Quite possibly the most unattractive human being on TV. Scratch that, outside of Nene from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the most unattractive human being on TV. And close to the least talented. He was a hype man, not a rapper. Standing next to a rapper does not make one a rapper just as standing next to me does not make you funny. Out of nowhere, the part of Public Enemy that had no talent has returned to the limelight, searched for love from apparently blind and deaf women (that's the only way I can imagine they wanted Flav), and even starred (used very loosely) in his own bad (used very tightly) sitcom. Seriously, his fame hangs on the balance of an oversized clock gimmick.....

3) Kardashians. Ok, Kim is fine. Not have-her-own-show fine but fine nonetheless. The other Kardashian girls? Notoriety from what exactly?

2)Tila Tequila. Maybe I have the story wrong. I don't care enough to look it up and plus it wouldn't change her position on this list or my feelings about her one iota. But let's take a shot at this: girl opens myspace account, girl puts up progressively sexier pictures of herself on myspace, girl develops a myspace following due to pubescent nature of myspace clientele, MTV gives girl show based on myspace popularity. Meanwhile, there's some poor kid studying his butt off at a community college in between his two part time jobs that MTV, and the rest of the country could care less about.....

1) Lauren from the Hills/The Real OC. It is no coincidence that MTV plays a huge role in the top two personas on this list. Lauren's is a slightly different story. Rich kid living it up in Orange County. No particular talent. Just a willingness to let MTV cameras follow her around while she finds 1,231 ways to put the word 'like' into a sentence unnecessarily while working her way through MTV created drama. Woe is her life as her and her friends hop into the Escalade for another trip to the specialty Boutiques.....Her reward for being a rich kid with no real worries: a spin off show with the same high school drama...just without the high school..

P.S. Lauren excepts top honors in this list on behalf of the entire cast of the Real OC and the Hills.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Balloon Boy and The Great Hoax

A 6 year old boy, ironically named Falcon, flew off into the horizon a couple of days ago in a helium balloon.  Or so his father would have you think.
[picapp src="b/6/a/3/Boy_Feared_Aloft_ccf3.jpg?adImageId=5971988&imageId=6820852" width="403" height="594" /]
Xpinionated is of the opinion that this was a big fat hoax.  One for which Daddy Henne should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  It is no coincidence that there was a recording of the balloon as it floated off.  It is no coincidence that the family was part of a reality show (Wife Swap) and the Richard Henne has been shopping a reality show about a crazy family.  It is no coincidence that Richard Henne was the one to call the news stations and the FAA.

It looks like this guy is simply an attention whore of the worst kind.  One that would employ his kids (ahem Kate, Jon) in his selfish efforts to get a cheap buck on 15 minutes of fame.  Hell, even the kid said, 'It was part of the show'.

On the Early Show this morning, Richard Henne placed a sign on his front door saying 'No more interviews.'  Minutes later he comes out to announce that he would like to hold an impromptu press conference on his front lawn at 10am....with a big announcement he says.

Unfortunately, our media, in its desperate quest for the next big story, will follow up on his press conference.  We will read, listen, watch, and discuss.  And though I doubt Henne will pimp this out into a reality show, he will have at least had his 5 minutes of fame.......
[polldaddy poll=2132295]

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Documentary Hypocrisy

It was announced that Michael Vick's life will be made into an eight part mini-series on BET.  Needless to say, this has raised the ire of the anti-Vick crowd.

"People who abuse animals don't deserve to be rewarded," PETA's Dan Shannon said in a statement. "They shouldn't be given multimillion-dollar contracts . . . or given the privilege of being a role model."  But directors who drug and rape 13 year old girls should serve no time and live happily in Europe while receiving Academy awards and industry praise?  I wonder which crime our soceity considers worse......

Two points before I go:  1) Most of the more serious serial killers (of humans) have had documentaries, movies, books, etc made on their life.  2) It's on BET which automatically limits it's audience by quite a bit.  Personally, I don't think it's a good move for Vick at this point in his life.  Time heals.  There are going to be a certain set of the population that will thrive on the negative aspects of his life forever.  But the general population will not necessarily forget, but will move on.  By making a movie, you're just keeping the negative in the limelight.

And while I'm talking about Vick, let me make something ridiculously clear -- specifically to my fellow Georgians.  I understand your dislike of Michael Vick in terms of the affect his crimes affected your precious (when they are winning) Atlanta Falcons, but please do not misdirect your anger at Virginia Tech.  Vick did nothing at Virginia Tech.  He was a student athlete with a clean record (yeah maybe not so much for his brother but that's not the point here).  So when you see me rolling in the Mag rockin' my Hokies flag, don't glare at me like I killed your dog.  After all, we don't hate Ohio State University because Jeffrey Dahmer was a student......

Monday, September 28, 2009

Redskins Fan Farewell? Not a goodbye though!

Years ago, my mom made an announcement that I couldn't fathom, couldn't wrap my head around.  She said that she was no longer a Washington Redskins fan.  I don't recall what game or moment prompted the dissolution of the relationship between my mom and the only team my immediate family shared (barring my sister who could care less), I simply remember not being able to comprehend a member of my football watching family not being a Redskins fan.

FlashForward like ABC to find me sitting here realizing that I no longer have the fire in me to cheer for the Redskins.  Too many years of mismanagement have led to too much  heartbreak.  It's like I have battered fan syndrome.  And I keep coming back for more.  The Snyder years have been marred by inconsistency of the worst kind -- the inconsistency that leads to a sliver of hope.  Hope for either the next game or the next season.  Only to be slapped down by the angry villain that is reality.

As of right now, I'm still a Redskins fan.  I have to be.  I've spent far too many years, too many beers, too much money, too much passion, and too many good times not to be a Redskins fan.  Not to mention, those that know me know that I have a pet peeve for people that switch teams, that don't sweat out the bad times.  I can't be those that I talk about and sleep through the night.

However, I will not be investing my passion, not this season anyway.  Yeah, I know, if there's some miraculous turnaround I'll have to eat my fair share of crow.  But here's the thing, I used to get excited for the Redskins games, even in the Brunell years when I knew anything thrown over 5 yards was considered a deep pass for our crew. The Spurrier years held their own kind of disappointing magic as I just knew that somehow things would come together under the ol' ball coach. Each little era held something.  Now, not so much.  Watching virtually every team in the league get better in some way and seeing absolutely nothing in terms of progress at FedEx field leaves one depersonalized from his team.  I can't even build up the passion to hate Jim Zorn.  I think he's a horrible coach but I no longer seem to care enough to tell him how bad he is.

So for 2009, I'm done with the Redskins.  I'll watch their games if their on or follow the scoreboard online. And I truly hope they can turn this thing around.  But I'm not spending any time thinking about it.  I'm definitely not spending any money on it.  When they come to Atlanta this year, I won't be there like last time.  I don't have that kind of free time for something I half-heartedly believe in.  I'm certain my passion will come back one day (when Snyder sells, or becomes a deaf-mute), but for right now my focus will be the Hokies.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

The Sucker....Punch

If you're any kind of sports fan, you've probably seen Boise St DE Byron Hout get remixed by LeGarrette Blount.  LeGarrette Blount has since been crucified publicly and nationally -- and deservedly so.  There was also a latent backlash at Byron Hout.

I will admit that when I first saw the punch, I was pleased.   I know this may anger some but quite frankly, let's look at this from the perspective of 5 seconds before the punch.  A deflated, embarassed, and probably still emotionally charged young man is walking off a hostile field in the midst of those that defeated him.  Another young man walks up, taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and taunts him.  Was MMA'ing him the best decision?  Definitely not.  Was it a reaction, an instinct?  Probably.  But what's lost in this is why did Hout feel the need to rub it in his face?

The presumed logic is that since Blount spoke the words 'We owe this team an ass whooping' earlier in the week the mouthy Blount should have expected some backlash.  However, Blount's statement was in reference to last year's game where two Oregon player were hurt and taken out of the game on arguably dirty plays.  So for him to state that we owe a team an ass-whooping, in that context, isn't taunting. It is a reference to what many feel was dirty play last year.

All this is to say, the punch that sent Hout's spit flying was actually dirty repaying dirty.  Unfortunately, this could very well end Blount's football career.  For what it's worth, Blount had been suspended earlier in summer workouts for his aggression so he is no angel in this matter.  But for such an unnecessary event to happen and quite possibly ruin this young man's chances at doing and succeeding at his life's goals, well, that is the real tragedy.  Hout was Sucker punched indeed, but he was also a sucker and deserved the punch.

I wonder if the public's reaction would be the same if say Terrell Owens taunted Brian Urlacher and Urlacher hauled off and punched Owens when he wasn't looking?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Warmth

My wife and kids went to Florida Sunday for a mini vacation.  Due to work obligations, and the fact that I didn't want to drive to Florida so I could be stuck in a house working while everyone one else was upping their vitamin D intake, I stayed in Georgia.  I thought I would take advantage of the empty house by living pseudo-bachelor.  Work during the day, drink during the night.  All that I really did was learn that I'm no longer the drinker I once was.

Then came the trip back for Mrs. Xpinionated.  Natalia apparently had had enough of car travels and pitched a holy fit for 70% of the drive by my estimations based on phone calls from a slightly more than exasperated Mrs. Xpinionated.   To ease the situation, I drove out to meet my wife and take the fed up little angel.  As luck would have it, construction forbade us to meet as planned and as she headed north, she passed right on past her knight in slowing traffic.

Anyway, after miles and miles of dashed lines, we make the switch.  And their was this warmth in me.  Just seeing my little girl, then seeing the half smile of recognition on her face melted me.  She could have cried the rest of the way home (she did not) and I wouldn't have cared a single bit.








F

Later, as I'm taking my son out of the car in the sleepy kid fashion where every body part is virtually dead weight, he barely opens his eyes, smiles, and hugs my neck.  I felt so loved right at that moment.  He then fell asleep on my shoulder with a smile on his face.  I put him to bed and he wouldn't let go of my neck. . .  and I didn't want him to....

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Cowards

Explicit Language below

Yet another gunman goes off killing people who had nothing to do with his woes.  Gun advocates wonder why folks are in favor of tougher gun control?  Because it is still apparently too easy to get guns and shoot innocent people because "you're lonely".

As it appears to me, this guy could have easily ended his own existence if he felt his life was so horrible.  I'm not an advocate of suicide, but I get pissed off at murder-suicides -- particularly murders of people you don't know, that don't know you, that have absolutely nothing to do with your pity party, and just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.  Instead of ending your life, you want everyone to know how sad you were, how picked on you were, how completely unable you were to cope with life.  Fuck you!

I want to be able to go to the gym and not worry about the poor guy that can't get a date shooting the place up.  Here's an idea, stop blogging about your preparations to kill and try to meet some live people somewhere.  Or, talk to a psychiatrist see if there's some social issue you're having (which apparently there was).   Or talk to a coworker.

I am refusing to place the names of these gunmen on my blog for the simple reason that to do so would give them the fame for which they killed.

I believe we need stricter gun laws in this country.  I know the right to bear arms is a constitutional right.  But, honestly, the doctrine was written when regular citizens were taking up arms against armies of foreign countries...so yeah it made sense then.  Now, not as much. Until gun advocates can come up with a way to limit guns getting in the hands of unstable people (and I don't have a solution myself but then again guns taken from everybody would be fine by me), then I think we need to limit guns as much as possible.  Guns don't kill, people kill.  But they would do it a helluva lot slower if they didn't have the gun!
[polldaddy poll=1847942]

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Racist vs Prejudiced

art.officer.wcvbThe post-racial harmony America was expected to bask in after President Obama was elected has fallen under a cloudy cover.  The latest story that caught my eye was concerning the Boston police officer who referred to Henry Louis Gates and/or Gates' actions as a 'banana-eating jungle monkey' in a mass email. . .  three different times.  In any case, the result was administrative leave for his words, something mass emails can do; especially if you're silly enough to send them to members of the National Guard and the BOSTON GLOBE!

As expected, he later stated that he was not racist and he has friends with race qualities yada yada yada.  The thing is, he was right.  He's not racist, he's prejudiced.  In fact, most of us are prejudiced to some degree.  But that's not my point here.

My point is we throw the word racist around quite often when in fact we mean prejudiced.  In order to be racist, you must have power over someone or some aspect of their being.  A boss can be racist. A boss can fire you because he does not like that you're Scandinavian.  A politician can be racist.  Enforcing policies that keep, say, the Native American trapped on a reservation.  And yes, a police officer can be racist as well.  However, in terms of what this guy did his actions were prejudiced.  He used a racial slur to insult and influence but ultimately his email held no power over anyone else's actions.

With that said, I am not surprised it was a Boston police officer.  I am surprised that they gave this guy a gun but not for the reasons you might suspect.  My surprise arises from the fact that his decision making in sending a strongly worded email to THE BOSTON GLOBE under his real name identifying his real job and not seeing the consequences makes me wonder who exactly he would be helping with a firearm in public. Officer, at least go to the library and create a fake email account...did you think the Globe would keep it all hush hush for you?

Back to my point, we throw the word racist around because it is seen as much more damaging to reputation and character.  Prejudice implies a pre-judging with a possibilty of changing.  In effect, it's admitting having opinions about a something or a group of people without having any hard facts to back them up.

Racist, on the other hand, is a principle.  It's a belief in some form of superiority based on something no human even gets to choose for themselves, race and/or skin color.  It implies a lifestyle almost.  There is little to no hope of change for a racist save for a life-changing event, and even then it's not guaranteed.

So the public, the media, and the leaders throw around the word 'racist' any time they can. It stirs the pot, moves the food around the plate, but it's not really accurate (much like my 'moves around the plate' analogy).

Xpinionated's Greatest Hits

Due to my own need to reassure myself of my greatness, I happened to realize that the special Xpinionated's Greatest Hits section was still linking to my old site that has passed on. Dead links be damned. Xpinionated's Greatest Hits has been restored...enjoy or detest....whatever

At least it's not my tax money . . .

Masssachusetts congressman Richard Neal is concerned. The White House may very be outsourcing it's beer for the historic Obama-Gates-police officer a letter stating an all-amAmerican  (as he has become affectionately known) happy hour event planned for the near future. President Obama's beer choice is Budlight, now owned by the Belgian company that produces the fine Stella Artois libation. Mr. Gates and Mr. Police officer will be enjoying Red Stripe or Becks, and Blue Moon respectively.

But not if Congressman Neal has a say so. Apparently he has penned a letter to the White House suggesting an All-American beer...Samuel Adams.

Wait, he took the time to do what?  And on the taxpayer's dime?  Or at least the Massachusett's taxpayer's dime....As if the entire White House Happy Hour episode wasn't enough, now we have other branches of government worried about beer.  If they are that bored, why don't they work on getting a college football playoff.  Or jobs for the unemployed...not necessarily in that order of course..

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Owens mouthing off again. . .correctly?!?!

Terrell Owens stepped up to the plate in opposition to an extension of Michael Vick's suspension this morning.  Owens argument is simply that Vick should be allowed to play immediately should he be picked up by a team, and I concur.  Though I've never been an opponent of Terrell Owens, except when he played for the Cowboys (I'm a Skins fan, it's part of the membership), I never thought I would actually agree with much that he said publicly.  But with this I am in agreement.

Michael Vick committed a crime.  To many, a grotesque and heartless crime.  Michael Vick served his time. He's lost two years out of his career (by his own hands admittedly) in a profession where every single year is to be cherished given the lack of pro football career longevity.  On top of that, his fortune is gone.  The money he made, not from his criminal deed, but from his talent is no longer.  Lastly, he has no one he can trust as his so-called friends bailed on him as soon as possible.  At this point, outside of his family there is no one Vick can (or should) fully trust.

Now I don't want to make Michael Vick out to be a victim here.  Like I stated, he willfully chose to commit a crime.  My point is simply this, how many other ex-cons are officially prevented from returning to their livelihoods (if they had one as many turn to crime due to lack of a constant livelihood) when their crime had absolutely nothing to do with their job.  It would be one thing if Vick had gone to jail because of an NFL gambling ring that he financed.  But that's not the case.  From the standpoint of his job, he did nothing that would suggest his job should be permanently taken from him.  Those that suggest otherwise are speaking from a purely emotional standpoint.

I understand some American's obsession with dogs.  In no way am I condoning what he did.  But after two years in prison, and not a 'Martha-Stewart-I-am-a-famous-person celebrity prison -- but Leavenworth, his debt to society has been paid.  If not by his prison sentence, then by his financial loss.  If not by his financial loss, then by his personal losses.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Race Card Misused

Henry Louis Gates, not sure why he gets to use three names but anywho, was arrested at his home in Cambridge, Massachusetts after a neighbor reported a break-in at Gates' home.  What could have turned into a simple misunderstanding has now gotten President Obama making statements, CNN following the story, and a host of race related discussions occurring.

This is the race card in action, unfortunately.  First, without knowing anything more than what CNN has produced, it seems to me that Gates acted somewhat obnoxious and the arresting officer also overreacted.  To be fair, the officer was doing his job in responding to a possible break-in.  To be fair, Gates has a right to be perturbed at this intrusion.

At the same time, the matter could have been over in less than fifteen minutes had Gates shown his identification immediately when requested by the officer.  Just because you're a celebrated professor doesn't necessarily mean everyone knows who you are.  Secondly, the anger Mr. Gates is projecting shouldn't be at the police officer.  Instead, it should be at the neighbor who is the one that racially profiled him.  A better question would be, why the hell doesn't your neighbor recognize you?

Granted, the officer may have gone too far in terms of actually arresting Gates.  And the charge of  'loud and tumultous behaviour in a public place' doesn't really fit for an argument on a private residence.

But all things considered, I don't think the officer has anything to apologize for.  I don't think President Obama should have even mentioned this, much less call the police officer's actions stupid. At some point I imagine the President will have to make a statement about some kind of serious racial incident and having this as a precedent will weaken his words when the time comes.

As a black man, I don't feel I have ever been racially profiled.  I don't say that to imply it doesn't happen.  Hell, I will readily admit that I racial profile myself depending on the situation I'm in.  I acknowledge that every run in I've had with police officers has been warranted (all traffic violations).  When the cops have pulled me over in my rimmed out Magnum, I was speeding, I was crossing a solid white line, and I was tailgating.  Each time, I was treated with respect and one time was even given a compliment about my car.  I've even had an officer check my tinted windows for legality as we shared a beverage at a bar.  What I'm saying is this:  Racial profiling does occur.  However, my experience has been that cooperation leads to a much swifter and agreeable outcome.  Not only that, I'd rather have police officers spend a little more time investigating a call than doing nothing for fear of being called racist.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Officially Old?

I'm on the precipice of 35 years old. I'm injured from running full speed -- 3 or 4 weeks ago! My thumb is so swollen it looks like a pig without the blanket. I drink two beers and think I may be reaching my limit. I no longer feel any excitement for the Friday nights I use to cherish. I read. . .and read . . . and read.

It's not all bad. I've got some beautiful kids and wife. I just wonder if I'm going through a mid-life crisis or if I'm in a funk or what. I do find myself often bored, bored by everything....

Friday, July 10, 2009

Something is Missing

And I don't know what. I've been prone to mood swings of pretty large proportions for the past few weeks. I feel kind of bored. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis. I don't know what 'it' is but 'it' is missing.....

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

King of Pop - The Memorial

I admit.  I did not watch Michael Jackson's memorial service.  Nor did I plan to watch it.  I did however let my curiosity get the best of me for the briefest of moments.

So I logged in to cnn.com, like most other working Americans trying to not work, and began watching.  Within a minute, I had closed the tab, annoyed.  CNN chose to allow the posting of Facebook statuses alongside the live Memorial.  Although I'm sure the intentions were good, the result was disrespectful in my opinion.  Trying to watch the memorial and understand, feel, sympathize, and generally say farewell to Michael Jackson while being inundated with the kind of negativity only the anonymity of the internet can provide was in a word, disheartening.  From people giving their opinions on dress to outrageous comments about who should and should not be allowed to say some words about Michael Jackson, the experience didn't move me to tears....it moved me to wordpress where I could express my thoughts to those who choose to read them.

I think my biggest issue was with the folks who took the opportunity of having a much larger audience to expound on their dislikes of presenters at the memorial.  As if that was the whole point of this affair.  'What does so and so have to do with it?' was a common theme.  What does it matter?  They were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to say some kind words during the memorial, is that in any way bad?

RIP, MJ.  You will be missed.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Overheard at Work

"Do she feel sick cuz you know how she be throwin' up just to be throwin up? Maybe she got something when she bit that little girl?" -- Assuming this little girl is young enough to still bite other kids, do they have a bulimic baby on their hands? Throwing up just to be throwing up?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Decision Time

I have definitely not been writing here as often as I once did.  I don't know if it's the combination of kids and lack of creativity, or if I have a case of writer's block.  Maybe the depression of knowing that I'm the only one reading this stuff has finally gotten to me.

In any case, my domain name is up for renewal and I'm contemplating letting it go.  It's nice having my own spot on the net, true, but I could certainly have a free spot just as easy.  Especially considering the infrequency with which my eloquence graces these humble pages.

For example, I'm working now.  Contract gig for a former employer.  Definitely blog worthy news there, right?  Yeah, didn't even cross my mind to mention it here.

Or what about the crazy playoffs the NBA has seen this year?  When's the last time I even mentioned sports here?

Then there's the birth of my daughter which got nowhere near the airtime the birth of my son received. Cuz I'm lazy and don't write too often.  And when I do I do it on bleacherreport.com or helium.com.  At least I know someone is reading stuff there.  My readers here, geez I would have to all but ask for comments directly and maybe, just maybe someone would hit me up with some feedback.

My point is:  Should I do this anymore? Has Xpinionated seen it's run?!?!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Woman bites lover's penis off in car crash | Metro.co.uk

Woman bites lover's penis off in car crash | Metro.co.uk
That has to be some very major karma at play. 
Blogged with the Flock Browser

Prescription Follies

So I go to the pharmacy to renew my Advair prescription for long-term control of my asthma.  The pharmacist informs me I have no refills left.  They will need to contact the doctor to authorize some refills.  If you're like me, then you don't refill most things until you're out of them.  Ink jet cartridges, gas, milk, prescription medicines.  These are all things that do not make the list of 'Stock up on for a rainy day'.  Needless to say, I'm out of Advair (even as I write this, out of breath, wheezing, and generally unwell ;) and it's the middle of pollen season which in Georgia is basically an all out attack on the breathing impaired by so-called sweet Mother Nature.

My doctor's office informs my pharmacy that I will need to come in for an appointment in order to get a refill.  This is where I get overly confused.  If Advair were intended to, say, cure my asthma then I would understand the need for multiple doctor's office visits for a checkup.  But it is not.  It is intended to help control the condition, a condition which hath no cure by the way.  So pray tell me, why must I go to the doctor's office to pick up a long term medication (and by long term, I mean forever) intended to only mediate the symptoms for a disease I have had for at least 28 years of my life and for which disease there is no cure?

So I called my doctor's office and informed them that I needed to get my 'scripts refilled.  Sweet-voiced Mandy says that it has been quite a while since the original 'script was given out and the doctor would like to see me.  To which I reply, 'I can assure you I still have asthma.'  After all, I have a reckless and fearless two year old toddler and a nine week old baby who would love nothing more than to display their combined efforts at driving any reasonable adult crazy with love for their cuteness and despair for their toddlernoisiness.  To no avail go my pleas so I schedule an appointment for later today.  As I write this, I can only hope that my kids do their best to drive that entire staff crazy in protest to the healthcare industry practice of forcing office visits to renew prescriptions for incurable diseases.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Day at the Department of Labor

I woke up this morning with every intent of raising hell.  After all, this was going to be my third trip to the unemployment office for the same issue.  I'm not gonna wait in your damn lines.  It will not be another three hour sojourn of staring at closed doors hoping the next time someone appears it will be my name beckoned.  Nope, not for this cat, not this time.

'Fill out your SSN and name and bring this back to me.'

Ok, so I punked out as I often do when psyching myself up to be rude and confrontational.  Plus, she was too darn nice especially compared to the first time I dealt with this particular steward of the office of the "No Longer Bountiful".  It's probably a sad sign when you recognize the department of labor staff.

There's the 1960's black elderly lady.  Never smiles.  Rarely uses a voice that can be heard halfway across the room, let alone halfway across a room full of cell convos, children, and 100 unhappy jobless folks.

There's the single, happy to help lady.  She's the one I imagine leads all attempts to round the troops up for happy hour and war stories.  Sh has also had the same outfit on for three of my four visits.

There's the huge hispanic (or maybe samoan) guy that walks around the computer termnals being used by first time filers.  Seriously, this is his job!  Of the four visits I've made encompassing nearly eight hours (and counting), this guy has provided assistance to, like, 10 people.  Really?  Really? I'm sure he has helped more that I haven't seen but as a graduate of the process for which he provides assistance, there just aren't a lot of places where one can go wrong.

But I digress.  I fill my form and throw my previous visits out there.

'Well you picked a good day, we're slow.'

Yippee!  I picked a good day to do what I had already been here twice to do.

For what it's worth, my wait is 15 minutes before happy hour girl cries my name, incorrectly.  She appears truly alarmed at my lack of received funds.  My spirits rise as I sense that maybe something will get done this time.  My first visit for no benefits received, I waited three hours, and at 4:30 pm 1960's black lady uttered my name.  I went back and after five minutes of her disappearing to make copies, she tells me the folks that would review my claim leave at 4:30 pm.  Bitches!!  My second visit was the asian guy with a minimal grasp of English, which is fine.  Considering that this is Gwinnett County, there are more ethnicities in a single square mile than bare boobs at Mardi Gras.  He is flabbergasted at what has become eight or nine weeks of unemployment insurance futility.  But my hope wanes as seems stuck on my former employer's official name.  Fast forward to today, the happy hour lady is going to help me.  She even has a new outfit on which has to be a good omen.

'Someone will call your name,' she says after thoughtfully telling me stuff about my claim that I already knew.  Oh Happy hour lady, et tu Happy hour lady?  Et tu?!

<SIDEBAR> Is there anything sadder than the cat trying to be hot at the unemployment office.  Sunglasses de Super Trooper don't make you look any more employed.  Silly perhaps, employed no.  Two places you don't need to try to pick up a mate, the unemployment office and the free clinic....

Finally, about 45 minutes later, the Asian man butchers my name to the point where he resorts to just spelling it.  I walk over to him, ready to go back into his cube and discuss in length my situation.

'You'll get your money tomorrow or Tuesday,' he says quickly.  Not sure why I wouldn't get it on Monday as opposed to Tuesday.

'Are you sure?' I say because well, this is the third time I've been to the place for this.

'Yes, we approved this morning.'  Uh, so why didn't they approve the first two times I strolled through..ah forget it.

UPDATE -- Money is coming in but is 53 bucks short every week.....Damn iT!