Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Thoughtful Revenge

First a warning, language is reverting to pre 2006 Xpinionated form.

An Ohio woman is suing her ex-boyfriend slash tattoo artist for tattooing shit on her back.

No. Literally, he tattooed shit. On her back.  

Long story short.  Guy dates girl. They break up. Guy finds out girl was banging a close friend of his.  Guy fights the urge to blow up about it and instead plays nice.  Girl falls for nice ex act. Gets drunk. Signs consent forms for 'artist discretion'. Girl thinks she is getting Narnia but gets shit.  On her back.

One may ask where she went wrong.

5.  Wanting any scene from Narnia on your back is a recipe for disaster.  In fact, it may be better that what's on her back now is there because Narnia sucks. I assume -- guess I could take the time to watch it.  The Narnia exhibit at that Disney Studios park thing sucked.

4. Relying on your ex-anything to provide top notch service is rarely the smartest choice.  Just as having a tattoo artist boyfriend comes with it's perks, you must also accept the loss of benefits when breaking up with said artist.  Stupidity is often repaid in oh so fateful ways.

3. Drinking with ex-anythings is also rarely the smartest choice.  Best case scenario? There is some casual lovin' and further regret or questioning of the break up. Worst Case scenario? A tattoo of shit.  On your back.

2. Innebriated signature on consent forms.  As a general rule, once you start drinking, don't sign anything that isn't a tab.  Ever.  EVER.

1. If you are going to cheat on someone, have whatever decency is left o at least pick a stranger.  Or at the very least, choose a rarely seen acquaintance.

Revenge when thoughtful is often the best way to serve revenge.