The Fallacy of a White Christmas

'Tis the season.  Americans everywhere dream of a white Christmas.  Snow on the ground as they wake to stockings filled with yummy treats, thoughtful gifts, and gag presents full of inside jokes.  And after all the gifts have been opened and the kids have been dressed, we can all go outside an frolick in the winter wonderland that is a white Christmas.

Until they realize that snow often comes with wind gusts of 40 mph, freezing temperatures, and is often icy, wet and utterably miserable to be in after it has fallen. So why do folks wish for a white Christmas?  Is it a case of the imagination completely blocking out the reality?  Has Hollywood and the media shaped our consciousness so much that logic and the reality of snow no longer mesh?

Let me paint you a picture, a picture of my childhood Christmas memories growing up in the Tidewater area where snow occurs on a rare basis (although they are under nearly a foot right now as I understand it).  I remember waking up for the fourth time before my parents would finally roll out of bed.  I'd run downstairs and see my new bike and yes more often than not there was a new bike because I didn't need more than a year to tear up the bike from last Christmas.  Awesome, got my bike even if it's not a Mongoose, I can work with it.  Let's tear through these other gifts.  Cool, another successful haul.  Time for french toast, one of my favorites when cooked by my mommy.

Now is the time.  55 degrees outside, sunshine.  I'm riding my new bike!  In fact, I'm hopping on my new bike and riding it down to my main man's house and seeing what kind of loot he got for the holiday.  And then he's coming to my house to check out my loot.  And then we are going down the street to check on somebody else's loot!

And all this is possible because there was no white christmas.......

Things I'm Tired Of - 11/28/2010

1. The exact same celebration from every football player...jump, turn in the air.  Yep, originality is dead.

2. Reality shows for people with no discernible talent:  Kendra, Jersey Shore cast, Kate, 16 and pregnant 'stars' -- I'm looking at you with my gas face.

3. Praise for quarterbacks regardless of who the actual play is made by (usually the receiver).

4. While we're at it, protection for quarterbacks....if they don't want to be hit they should choose a non-contact activity like Baseball.

5. The emasculation and 'stupidification' of men on television.

6. People who while talking, close their hand at the end of each sentence like they are trying to catch the words as they leave the mouth.

7. Housewives on TV in the city of your choice who are really not housewives in any traditional sense of the word....more like trophies with jewelry on.

8. Being tired...just tired

Ah...that's better.

oh and 9.  Sarah Palin.

Halloween Weekend

[caption id="attachment_1673" align="alignleft" width="213" caption="Don't Hurt 'em Hammer"][/caption]

MC Hammer.  Drunk. On a lake. At 1am. Drinking Jagermeister on a pier from the bottle. To 'Turn this mutha out....'

Yeah, so I guess you could say it was a great weekend.

Some of the best lines of the night:

'Wait, you're really black.'  Spoken by a surprised girl who apparently thought my skin color was part of my costume.

'See you later, Isaac.'  'When the hell did I become Isaac from the Love Boat?!?  I'm MC Hammer!'

'You know I am having an epitome. My epitome is. . .'  'You mean epiphany?'  'Uh yeah, they both start with e-p-i.'  'Maybe you're having the epitome of an epiphany.'

Halloween was niicce...that's niiice.

Life Lessons Learned from Daytime TV

1. If you are about to loan somebody some money and they say they will repay when they get their tax money back, do not loan them money.


2. If you are appearing on Jerry Springer, do not walk onto the stage and immediately begin kissing. You will get hit in the back of the head.


3. If you are appearing on Maury and you're just chilling in the green room, don't talk to the 'decoy'.  Don't show them private parts.  Don't brag.  Shut up and be quiet.


4. When repaying a loan, don't use cash or get a receipt.  Trust no one.


5. You can't hold somebody's stuff in lieu of rent.


6. Apparently, it is a source of pride to have a huge tax debt and not pay it. Truly something we should all strive for.


7. If you are a male, do not appear on Judge Joe Brown or Judge Judy.  Neither like the gender.


8. Zaxby's is single-handedly trying to keep as many has been celebrities working as corporately possible.


9. The budget for daytime TV commercials is considerably lower than their primetime counterparts.  So is the acting talent.

Atlanta Symphony

I saw a facebook post from Atlanta with Kid promoting $5 tickets to the Atlanta Symphony's Halloween show.  On the spur of the moment, I bought four tickets for the family.  I figured part of my job as a parent is to expose my kids to things outside of daily life and especially things outside of my comfort zone.  I figure if I get them outside of my comfort zone, not only will I experience something new, but we can experience something new together and they will be more well rounded than I at an earlier age.  And the earlier that one becomes well rounded, the longer they get to enjoy all the offerings available to them in life.

With that said, I probably enjoyed it more than the rest of the Xpinionated family.  I had never been to the symphony and I can't say I've ever had a desire to go either. I went through a classical music phase for a month maybe in high school.  Other than that, not so much my thing.

But I was excited to go today.  Devin and Talia were in their costumes looking cute as always.  They had no clue what was going on but they got to wear their costumes so I think that was good enough for them.  But once their faces lit up watching the dancers and the music filled the room, I admittedly got wrapped up into it all.

Going in, I had no clue how a symphony planned to keep children entertained.  After all, a symphony performance in and of itself is not enough to keep a toddler's attention.  But the added dancers ranging in age from 6 to professional dancers was just the right touch to keep the kids focused.  It was a very entertaining, family-friendly show.

Grammar Lessons I Learned from TV

'Is' should never precede 'you'. Ever. There is no grammatical situation in which 'Is' would correctly come before 'You'.
In fact, 'Is' should not come after 'You' either, at least not without some punctuation involved.

That is all.

I'll choose Virginia Tech over our association

I probably take it too serious.  In fact, I know I do.  And I've tried working on it but sometimes it still hits close to the heart.  With that said, I'll choose my alma mater over you.  You in this sense being anyone who wants to take pot shots at my Hokies.  I may not come out and say we're no longer cool.  Actually, I probably won't say anything much at all...to you...ever again.  Yep, I'll definitely choose my alma mater over our association.

I'm trying to put into words what the difference is for an alumni versus a fan.  See, to have gone to Virginia Tech, lived it, breathed it, loved it is different than to watch nationally televised games or cheer for them because you're from the state.  Being an alum, it becomes part of you, it's in your makeup, it becomes a characteristic of you. When friends think of you, they think of all the things they love about you and that includes your love for Virginia Tech.  It is part of your personality.

The exhibition of this part of you is seen during football games but it's felt year round, through tragedy and through accomplishment.  I may not tote my VT flag on my car every day of the year for every accomplishment but I am proud throughout the year.  Not because of the football or basketball team.  But because of what Virginia Tech made me.  The person I was when I stepped on that Blacksburg campus was but a fraction of the man I was when I left. The experiences, the friends, the education -- all combined to let me blossom into the person I am today.

So how do you explain to a fan of some team why you take Virginia Tech insults personally?  Unless they've attended a school and have those same feelings, is there a way to explain it?

I'm sure my serious approach has turned some people away from me at various points in my life, and I'm ok with that.  Like I said, this is part of me and not part of me I necessarily want to change. So yeah, I know you're having a little fun at the Hokies expense, and I know I take this too personally.  With that said, keep in mind I take this personally.

Ut Prosim.

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's the most wonderful time of the year.
With the fans steady yelling
And everyone telling you my team is to fear
It's the most wonderful time of the year
It's the snap-snappiest season, bad call!
False start for no reason and 50 point beatings
Who wants the ball?
It's the hap happiest season of all
There'll be BCS drama
Enough bowls for your mama
Two days of tailgating fa sho
There'll be underdog stories
And tales of glories from seasons long long ago,
It's the most wonderful time of the year
There'll be play action passing
And weekly ranking bashing
When rivals are near
It's the most wonderful time of year
It's the most wonderful time of year
It's the most wonderful time of year
It's the most wonderful time of year

Not my best effort but I tried..meh

GO HOKIES!

Raising My Boy

Overheard in my house yesterday:

Devin don't push your sister, you know she's unstable.  In fact, all women . .

By the way, when I say overheard, I meant I said this but stopped before teaching my son something politically incorrect if not true.

Confused by Christwire.org

So perusing a friend's blog I came across an article advising women of the signs that their husband is gay. The site is christwire.org. It has taken me several hours to decide if the site is meant as a spoof or if this is a horrendously real example of when stupidity meets the propagation of the web.

I'm still undecided.

However, in the article, women are warned with '15 commonly-accepted' signs that their husband may be using the marriage as a cloak for his closet. Gems such as

Is he fond of winking at people?

If your husband owns skinny jeans and looks at his buttocks in the mirror or if he wears an inordinate number of small-sized t-shirts, it is probably worthwhile to pay more attention to his private activities.

A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a sense, he has “let his hair down” and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one’s hands.

For a second, I thought this was just ignorance personified.  But just when I think the author is serious, I roll across a post chronicling the rampant but underground epidemic of cat rapings . . . . by rabbits.

Yep, I'll just leave it at that.....

Dumbass Criminals

http://tinyurl.com/39mxnkp
You did it.  Your friends thought you were crazy and didn't want in.  Screw them, you can pull the job off by yourself and there is nothing better than splitting the loot one way.

The day after. You robbed a bank. Unidentified and no one is the wiser.  Why don't you go grab a coffee and see if your adventures made the paper?  Ah, page one. Wait, they got it all wrong.  That is not how your heist went down and you are definitely taller than that.  25, they think you're 25.  What kind of hack job is this?

You know what you should do? You should fire off a strongly worded email to the editor and get this nonsense righted.  Let them know the true details, what really went down with your exploits.  That'll show 'em.

Dumbass!   Click the link for my inspiration above.

The N-Word Makes Its Quarterly Cameo in the News

Is there anything more American than the infamous n-word. I don't mean that as an Anti-American statement. I love this country with all its flaws and have no desire to live (or visit for that matter) in any other country. However,this six letter word has singlehandedly stirred more emotions in this country on a consistent basis for the girth of American history. Pick any time in our history, use the n-word, and you're guaranteed a reaction.

Dr. Laura, on her nationally syndicated (I believe and yes I'm too lazy to go verify), had a young black woman call in for relationship advice.  The caller's problem revolved around her white husband's lack of response when his friends and family used racial insults and propagated racial stereotypes.  The conversation that followed is below and I'll let you arrive at your own conclusions.

Howfefer (as one of my VT professors was fond of saying), as a black man who does not use the word on a regular basis and at most maybe twice a year when something on Jerry Springer catches me off guard, there is a misconception on the use of the n-word.

Black people don't consider it acceptable. Regardless of the mouth from which it spews.  With that said, approving of something and tolerating something are two different actions. I remember when I was a boy around 12 or 13, I remember being in Bethel Manor which is the military housing for Langley AFB. Near one of the entrances was a 7-11 which had a dirt bike path that came up from the back.  We'd fly down that path and skid around the corner to the front of the store.  One day we come around the corner and there was this old white man. Pardon my language, but we scared the shit out of him.  He turned to me and said 'Nigger'.

I felt small

I didn't have a grasp of the full extent or power of that word until that day. I think that experience shaped my use of the word (barring my college days where my discipline was compromised). When a person uses the word, I don't approve but I do tolerate it and I may not be right in doing that. But I don't think I'm alone in saying that the word is not accepted, it's not approved. Comics may use and we may laugh. Rappers may use it and we may dance. But that does not make it right. That doesn't make it acceptable. And maybe the one good thing that can come from the conversation below is an insight into the mentality that has resulted from our tolerance of the word.



SCHLESSINGER: Jade, welcome to the program.

CALLER: Hi, Dr. Laura.

SCHLESSINGER: Hi.

CALLER: I'm having an issue with my husband where I'm starting to grow very resentful of him. I'm black, and he's white. We've been around some of his friends and family members who start making racist comments as if I'm not there or if I'm not black. And my husband ignores those comments, and it hurts my feelings. And he acts like --

SCHLESSINGER: Well, can you give me an example of a racist comment? 'Cause sometimes people are hypersensitive. So tell me what's -- give me two good examples of racist comments.

CALLER: OK. Last night -- good example -- we had a neighbor come over, and this neighbor -- when every time he comes over, it's always a black comment. It's, "Oh, well, how do you black people like doing this?" And, "Do black people really like doing that?" And for a long time, I would ignore it. But last night, I got to the point where it --

SCHLESSINGER: I don't think that's racist.

CALLER: Well, the stereotype --

SCHLESSINGER: I don't think that's racist. No, I think that --

CALLER: [unintelligible]

SCHLESSINGER: No, no, no. I think that's -- well, listen, without giving much thought, a lot of blacks voted for Obama simply 'cause he was half-black. Didn't matter what he was gonna do in office, it was a black thing. You gotta know that. That's not a surprise. Not everything that somebody says -- we had friends over the other day; we got about 35 people here -- the guys who were gonna start playing basketball. I was going to go out and play basketball. My bodyguard and my dear friend is a black man. And I said, "White men can't jump; I want you on my team." That was racist? That was funny.

CALLER: How about the N-word? So, the N-word's been thrown around --

SCHLESSINGER: Black guys use it all the time. Turn on HBO, listen to a black comic, and all you hear is nigger, nigger, nigger.

CALLER: That isn't --

SCHLESSINGER: I don't get it. If anybody without enough melanin says it, it's a horrible thing; but when black people say it, it's affectionate. It's very confusing. Don't hang up, I want to talk to you some more. Don't go away.

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I'll be right back.

We have to be able to discuss these things. We're people -- goodness gracious me. Ah -- hypersensitivity, OK, which is being bred by black activists. I really thought that once we had a black president, the attempt to demonize whites hating blacks would stop, but it seems to have grown, and I don't get it. Yes, I do. It's all about power. I do get it. It's all about power and that's sad because what should be in power is not power or righteousness to do good -- that should be the greatest power.



After taking a commercial break, Schlessinger resumed her discussion with the caller:

SCHLESSINGER: I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, talking to Jade. What did you think about during the break, by the way?

CALLER: I was a little caught back by the N-word that you spewed out, I have to be honest with you. But my point is, race relations --

SCHLESSINGER: Oh, then I guess you don't watch HBO or listen to any black comedians.

CALLER: But that doesn't make it right. I mean, race is a [unintelligible] --

SCHLESSINGER: My dear, my dear --

CALLER: -- since Obama's been in office --

SCHLESSINGER: -- the point I'm trying to make --

CALLER: -- racism has come to another level that's unacceptable.

SCHLESSINGER: Yeah. We've got a black man as president, and we have more complaining about racism than ever. I mean, I think that's hilarious.

CALLER: But I think, honestly, because there's more white people afraid of a black man taking over the nation.

SCHLESSINGER: They're afraid.

CALLER: If you want to be honest about it [unintelligible]

SCHLESSINGER: Dear, they voted him in. Only 12 percent of the population's black. Whites voted him in.

CALLER: It was the younger generation that did it. It wasn't the older white people who did it.

SCHLESSINGER: Oh, OK.

CALLER: It was the younger generation --

SCHLESSINGER: All right. All right.

CALLER: -- that did it.

SCHLESSINGER: Chip on your shoulder. I can't do much about that.

CALLER: It's not like that.

SCHLESSINGER: Yeah. I think you have too much sensitivity --

CALLER: So it's OK to say "nigger"?

SCHLESSINGER: -- and not enough sense of humor.

CALLER: It's OK to say that word?

SCHLESSINGER: It depends how it's said.

CALLER: Is it OK to say that word? Is it ever OK to say that word?

SCHLESSINGER: It's -- it depends how it's said. Black guys talking to each other seem to think it's OK.

CALLER: But you're not black. They're not black. My husband is white.

SCHLESSINGER: Oh, I see. So, a word is restricted to race. Got it. Can't do much about that.

CALLER: I can't believe someone like you is on the radio spewing out the "nigger" word, and I hope everybody heard it.

SCHLESSINGER: I didn't spew out the "nigger" word.

CALLER: You said, "Nigger, nigger, nigger."

SCHLESSINGER: Right, I said that's what you hear.

CALLER: Everybody heard it.

SCHLESSINGER: Yes, they did.

CALLER: I hope everybody heard it.

SCHLESSINGER: They did, and I'll say it again --

CALLER: So what makes it OK for you to say the word?

SCHLESSINGER: -- nigger, nigger, nigger is what you hear on HB --

CALLER: So what makes it --

SCHLESSINGER: Why don't you let me finish a sentence?

CALLER: OK.

SCHLESSINGER: Don't take things out of context. Don't double N -- NAACP me. Tape the --

CALLER: I know what the NAACP --

SCHLESSINGER: Leave them in context.

CALLER: I know what the N-word means and I know it came from a white person. And I know the white person made it bad.

SCHLESSINGER: All right. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Can't have this argument. You know what? If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race. If you're going to marry out of your race, people are going to say, "OK, what do blacks think? What do whites think? What do Jews think? What do Catholics think?" Of course there isn't a one-think per se. But in general there's "think."

And what I just heard from Jade is a lot of what I hear from black-think -- and it's really distressting [sic] and disturbing. And to put it in its context, she said the N-word, and I said, on HBO, listening to black comics, you hear "nigger, nigger, nigger." I didn't call anybody a nigger. Nice try, Jade. Actually, sucky try.

Need a sense of humor, sense of humor -- and answer the question. When somebody says, "What do blacks think?" say, "This is what I think. This is what I read that if you take a poll the majority of blacks think this." Answer the question and discuss the issue. It's like we can't discuss anything without saying there's -isms?

ESPN Special Report: LeBron's One Hour Decision

Reports have it that LeBron will make his decision Thursday, July 8, 2010.

Awesome news.  NBA fans everywhere want to know where the second best player in the league will end up.  After all, it let's us know who the second best team in the league may be next year.

Except. He is televising his announcement in an hour long special.  He is going to somehow make the following words, 'I, LeBron James, will play for. . . .' last for 43 minutes -- 17 minutes of commercial proceeds will go to charity.

Now, people have mistaken Kobe's confidence for arrogance.  Many have used this same opinion to dislike him. To root against him.  Now, Kobe has never ever done anything like this. Despite being a free agent a few years ago, Kobe did not need a television show to ensure the spotlight was on him. So, what say you?  Egomaniacal move by the wrongly named 'King' James? Or is this just a way to get some money to the charities?

I think this is the true LeBron coming out.  Feeding into his own hype. A young guy who so successfully handled fame and fortune at the onset of adulthood is reverting to the young guy we wouldn't have been surprised to see years ago.  There is absolutely no need to have a one hour tv show for this.  Hell, a 15 minute press conference would have been pushing it.

On the flip side, it is baseball season and if given the choice between the two....I'd watch LeBron Decision 2010 over the national pastime any day of July.

Irritating

I am ridiculously irritated right now. I feel like this freaking house is falling apart. It's less than ten years old and we yave had leaky roofs, air conditioner repairs (multiple), and now have the beauty of a 92 degree upstairs due to the air conditioning unit breaking down....again.

In other news, it's been nearly two and a half months since I've smoked. I miss it. I miss the release of it, the expectation of it. I haven't been out to the bars in this time either. I simply don't trust myself to not slip a black in. I am proud of myself though as I fully expected to have a relapse in Virginia. Wife in Indiana, it would have been a non-sequitir for me to get a black and mild and finish the day like I used to. But I refrained. I also miss reading and hate that I ever created that connection between a good habit and a bad habit.......

And she's supposed to be sick

And she's supposed to be sick

UPDATE: Sent this as a draft and it never got posted :(

Grown Man Names

Here in the great red state of Georgia, I've noticed a plethora of signs spurring me to vote for Josh Somethingornother for some political position or something. What immediately struck me is how much i consider Josh a kid's name. Seriously, my immediate thought was that I don't think I know any 'Joshes' older than twenty eight.
When i hear the name josh I reactively think high school or college kid. Or a character on one of the WB shows that are more music than dialogue...which would be all the WB shows I guess.
All this is to say that I will not be voting for Josh. No my vote isu not being driven by his name or republican affiliation. Speaking of which, I would love to see a candidate rock propaganda without mentioning their political clan. Think about how potentially effective that would be for a candidate. Imagine the public learning about a candidate because they had no party generalizations to fall back on. I understand it is iabout as likely as seeing a black person on ' When Animals Attack' but it is still a powerful ideal.
By the way, Josh is not getting my vote precisely for the reasons I previously said were not influential in my decision.

My Main Man

Standing in line at Costco today, I picked Devin up and to my surprise he said "Daddy you're my main man!" Now I know I've said it to him before but I am still amazed at the stuff he picks up on. For that matter the stuff both of them pick up on is slightly crazy.

Talia is turning out be much better at follow directions than Devin was at that age....or is at this age really. She may note be able to engage us in a serious conversation yet but she can generally pick up what we're putting down. On the flip sidestep, Natalia appears be going through that same transition that Devin went through in that she went from a baby that would eat anything to being sporadic eater at best.

With all that said, I have some pretty awesome kids.

Hard First Day

Many of you who know me through social settings will know what I'm about to reveal.  Most of you who know me professionally have no idea what I'm about to reveal.  Since my early 20's I have been a smoker.  Not a cigarette smoker as typically defined by the term smoker.  But a Black and Mild smoker, little cigars with pipe tobacco in them.

 [picapp align="none" wrap="false" link="term=cigar&iid=5117588" src="e/0/7/9/Businesswoman_smoking_cigar_9622.jpg?adImageId=12485734&imageId=5117588" width="336" height="508" /]

For years I didn't even consider myself a smoker.  After all, I didn't take smoke breaks.  I never got to the point of having withdrawal symptoms if I didn't have one.  I smoked because I enjoyed it.  I smoked thinking any time I wanted I could put them down for good and be no worse for wear.

Around five years ago is when I first started thinking that I was probably addicted to the damn things.  I never chain smoked or anything like that. In fact, for most of the years I smoked, it was usually one a day and definitely no more than two. I never took smoke breaks at work.  And for the most part since I've been with the ol' battleaxe, most of my 'more than one a day' smokes have come at bars. 

With all that said, on an impulse (though I'd been considering it for awhile), I bought some nicorette yesterday.  I'm starting to feel like the smoking is taking it's toll on my workouts and don't like the thought of that at all.  I have virtually stopped going to bars as most of my closest bar buddies have moved or are no longer geographically desirable. But most importantly, I don't want either of my kids to see me smoking, ever.

Weird thing is I never really thought of myself as having cravings.  I knew I would have my black after the family was asleep out on the patio with a good book.  That was enough to prevent me from smoking or having what I guess would be withdrawal symptoms.  But today, all day, I've been thinking about how I'm not going to have that black tonight.  And it's driving me out of my mind. 

So I guess this is where the Nicorette comes in.  I hope it's enough but geez I'd love to sit out there with a good book on a beautiful night like tonight.

I Love that Kid pt 2

Daddy:  "Devin, you done?"

Devin:  "Yes daddy but no poopoo..."

Daddy:  "You didn't go poopoo?"

Devin:  "No, maybe it needs batteries"

Daddy:  "Your poopoo needs batteries?"

Devin:  "Yea I think my poopoo needs batteries."

The Decline in Fanaticism

There was a time growing up when I knew where each of my friends stood with each sport. Chuck was a Pistons fan, Kenny was a Celtics fan, Chuck and I were Redskins fans.  None of us jumped ship . . . ever . . . . for any reason.  I hope that stands true for my Newgate Village homies to this day.

But ask a fan nowadays about the team they support in a single sport, and you'll likely get a litany of teams supported, with a plethora of reasons they support them.  People no longer are strong enough to stand by one team anymore.  No more loyalty to one college for all sports.  Everybody has their winner backup.  It's saddening.

The most common statement I hear goes something like this 'I'm a Hawks fan but the Cavaliers are my second favorite team.'  By definition, 'favorite' is a singular item.  By my definition of fan, there are no second favorites in the same league. That shows a new level of fairweatheredness that's either slightly above or slight below those NBA fans who haven't watched a game since Jordan left.  Oddly enough, I never hear the comment 'I'm a Browns fan but the Bills are my second favorite team.'  You know why I don't hear that kind of statement?  Because these so called fans never seem to pick a mediocre or outright bad team as their second favorite.

It really goes to the desire for today's fans to be associated with a winner.  Sports no longer hold that passion of my youth with the new generation of fans. From my teens up until my kids were born, if the Lakers, Redskins, or Hokies lost, the day and quite possibly the weekend were done.  Ruined. I felt it personally. I cared and loved that much.  I didn't rely on a second team.  I didn't support a player that didn't run with my squad.  Ask my friends what I said about Shaquille O'Neal once he left the Lakers.  In a nutshell, it was nothing nice.

What happened to those fans that felt the game?  That weren't afraid to lose?  That realized losing builds passion?  I actually have a friend who attended Virginia Tech but cheers for Duke basketball.  Her justification is that the Hokies have never been that good in basketball.  Besides berating her as a traitor, I should have asked her what happens if the basketball team runs into the good fortune that the once hapless football team did 16/17 years ago?  Would she forsake Duke basketball?  I doubt it . . . .sadly, I doubt it.

I have another friend who became a die-hard Falcons fan once they started winning.  He says he refused to support an organization in the state the organization was formerly in.  I'm a Redskins fan.  I support a team with an owner that has absolutely nothing to put on his mantelpiece in terms of achievement since he's owned the team. Blunder after blunder after blunder....still no excuse to jump ship.....

I just don't get it I guess.  Do these people also have second favorite wives?  I mean sports for me is about loyalty, about trust in the organization, about a love of the history of an organization.  Does any of that count for anything anymore?

Implementing a Hosted Solution - Lessons Learned

How's this for a change of pace?  A work related post that is more observation than bitching.

We have been in the process of implementing Oracle's CRM on Demand since September 2009.  I have implementation experience but this was a much more intense experience.  So, even though we are only in pilot with tons of work and sleep-deprived days ahead of us, I thought I'd make a point to take some notes -- a 'Lessons Learned' kind of assessment.

Lesson #1: Get the right people involved. . . .EARLY!

  Any time a technical product is being discussed, negotiated, or researched, the IT department and at least a few subject matter experts should be involved.  Case in point, a database company trying to sell you one of it's business applications will almost always say 'Our product can handle whatever your business process may be as well as introduce you to best practice business processes that you may find useful.'  Without IT input, questions such as does your application meet my business process specifications with little to no customization?  Or will I have a ton of customization with your product simply being the interface for my customizations?  Further, subject matter experts need to be available to verify that what your company reps are telling the vendor, in terms of how you do business, is correct.  Often, executives have a high level understanding of what occurs beneath them but you don't want to base a million dollar application purchase on a high level understanding.

Lesson #2: Understand the limitations of your decisions

The product chosen was a hosted solution.  In layman's terms this means we are buying software that we are not installing on machines within our company. Rather, the software will be hosted at, in this case, Oracle's site.  Oracle will be in charge of hardware and software maintenance and upkeep which logically presents a cost savings in terms of administration of the software. Undoubtedly, this was told to the executive team.  Also, undoubtedly, the ramifications of not having an actual product in your possession were not, I assume, weighed as heavily.  As a developer, what I desire most is access. Access to development environments, databases, and whatever else I need to do my job.  With a hosted solution, I am partially handcuffed.  I no longer have free reign to 'go in the backdoor' and fix something through the database.  I no longer have the power I once did.  Not only is that a culture change for the development team, it's also a change for the user base who by now has gotten used to knowing that their IT team could formerly do tons of things in the application and around the application (reporting for example) with less red tape and quicker turnaround.

Lesson #3:  Quality, Speed, Expense-- Pick Two

This is not so much a lesson learned as much as it is a personal project management guideline.  I forget where I heard it but it has stuck with me through the years and I find it just as relevant now as I did years ago.

With every project, you have three main considerations: Quality, Speed, and Expense.  You only get two of these three.  Two you get to request at the forsaking of the third.  If you want a project completed quickly and with good quality, expect to pay a handsome fee along the line to get that done.  If you want a project completed cheaply and quickly, quality will suffer.  And if you want a cheap project with quality work, it can be done but it will take time.

There are other lessons that I have taken from this project that I hope to xpine on here but it is saturday night.....

I Love That Kid

Devin: "Daddy?"
Daddy: (Silent cuz he's on a conference call)
Devin: "Daddy, you have candy?"
Daddy: "Why do you think daddy has candy?"
Devin: "There's no candy"
Daddy: "Does daddy always have candy?"
Devin: "mmmhmm"
Daddy: (Handing over a cherished bottle cap) "Don't tell mommy..."
Devin: "I'm going to tell"
Daddy: (Taking back a cherished bottle cap) "Shh, don't tell mommy!"
Devin: "Mommy, can I have candy"
Daddy: "SHHHH! Here take it"
Devin: "Candy"
Daddy: (Fist pump) "Gimme some"
Devin: (Returning the pound) "Davis Man!"

That's right....

Gathering My Senses

Work.  It doesn't fill me with a sense of accomplishment or pride. I don't work because I love it. My accomplishment is daily.  When that little boy runs full speed into my waiting arms, that's accomplishment.  That's fulfillment.  When my daughter's face lights up because she hasn't seen me all day, and the happiness on my wife's face watching the whole process?  Well that's accomplishment, fulfillment. 

Work is making sure that when those wrinkles have gatheredon our face 30 years from now, they are wrinkles caused by smiling. Work is when my son says 'Daddy we go buy my new video?' and I buy it or don't buy it based on something other than can I afford it. Work is interesting, but it is far from everything. It has this little box in my life where I like to store it.  And nearly every other box in my life is bigger than the work box.

Some may see this attitude as an issue with my work ethic.  I believe my efforts and results prove otherwise.  What I want to limit is the amount of stress, distraction, and loss work causes in my life. I don't ever want to wake up thinking about work.  If work has become my main passion, then something is missing in my life.  Don't misunderstand me, I enjoy what I do.  But if I were to win 100 million dollars tomorrow, I'd only be doing what I do for two more weeks.

Many folks have at one time or another made comments about my work ethic.  Not necessarily negative comments but more in the line of curiousity.  I rarely show stress at work. Nor do I ever seem too busy (until recently) to speak to someone who's stopped by my desk because they needed a break.  Co-workers have seen this and don't know what to make of it.  It's really very simple.  Work is work but it is not me.  I try to reduce it's effect on my mood and more importantly on my dealings with others (especially those not involved in any way with my work).  Lastly, we spend most of our day at work, the very least I can do is enjoy the people I work with.

I'll never be a CEO.  And I don't want to be one.  I like the position that work plays in my life right now.  Maybe down the road, money will be less important and having a fulfilling vocation will matter more to me.  But I don't see the exit for that road yet so in the words of Smokey and the Bandit -- East bound and down, loaded up and trucking!

Civic Conscious

A week ago today I was fretting over serving my civic duty.  It was an interruption. I was worried because I didn't have the time personally or professionally to deal with the ramifications of jury duty.  Not to mention they wanted me to report at 8am. I can't remember the last time I was showered, dressed, and functional at 8 am.  Maybe one of the three, maybe even two, but definitely can't remember all three occurring in the past three months at the least.

When I arrived at the Gwinnett County Justice Administration, I was like 99% of the 900 folks reporting that morning: praying I didn't get picked for a jury.  I see that I'm listed as number one in the second group of 50 for jury selection.  Though random, that didn't bode well to me.  Luckily, Jeff was a laid back fellow that I met five minutes ago so that made things a bit easier.

Needless to say if you follow me on facebook, I was selected.  The charges were for a 21 year old girl on an accident in 2006.  She had been charged with Homicide by Vehicle, Serious Injury by Vehicle, Driving Under the Influence, and Driving on a Suspended/Revoked license.  The irony of it all was that the accident occurred after a night drinking at a franchise of my former drinking hole.  IN fact, I could have very well been at the bar they left or the bar they were heading to on Aug 12/13, 2006. 

Without getting into a whole lot of details, we found her guilty of all charges except the Homicide by Vehicle.  Though the deceased could not speak for themselves,we felt there was a level of personal responsibility that played just as much a role in his death as did the accused female. 

I entered jury duty nonchalantly.  Get it over with kind of attitude.  After being picked, listening to two days worth of testimony, and approximately 8 hours of deliberation, I realize that this has been, as Bailiff Warren said it would, an experience that I'm likely to remember forever.  I coudn't help but question our decision when both when I heard the deceased family speak in the courtroom, then again when I saw the defendant break down upon hearing her sentence.   I gather that some part of me will always wonder if we did the right thing.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl Fun

A week ago today, I was excited beyond belief. I was headed to my first ever bowl game. Well, technically not my first. I did drive down to Miami for an Orange Bowl game against Nebraska only to find out that my girlfriend's brother (who never liked me) hadn't secured my ticket. So I sat in a bar outside of the Orange Bowl watching a game that I was supposed to go to drinking pitchers of beer (which apparently it was illegal to serve a single person a pitcher of beer but they thought I had friends coming) while Nebraska handed VT an arse-whipping.

[caption id="attachment_1570" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Walking to the dome"][/caption]

But I digress. I can't explain the feeling of a bowl game. In the scheme of college football this game meant nothing.  But to the fans in the packed CNN Center and later the packed Dome, there was indeed a lot more on the line.  

The Tennessee fans were there in droves.  The Hokies travel well, but as one drunken fan expressed about the Vols, 'They brought their whole state...they brought their whole state!' 

Per request of Vols friend, I purchased our tickets on the Vols side of the field.  As it turned out, looking at the crowd, everywhere was the Vols side of the field except for the Hokie Band.  It seems the band was the only place that Chicago maroon held a solid foothold.  

Well, there and on the field of course! 

The fans around me were good natured -- the sober ones anyway.  The drunk ones were victimized by my wit, including Lance the Tennessee fan with absolutely no Tennessee paraphernalia on but rocking his Wal-Mart nametag.  It's a lot easier to silence your foes when the footsoldiers on the field are doing it big.  Unfortunately, many of the drunkest fans whom I would have proudly gloated and toted my VT love for escaped at some point during the third quarter. 

Highlights of the day include: 

• Realizing 24 oz pints at the CNN Center were only six bucks


• Realizing the dome would be serving at the college game


• Starting a 'Lets Go...Hokies' cheer in the men's room at the CNN Center


• Having a Vols fan try to gobble at the end of the game


• Having a guy wearing a Vols t-shirt admit he was going for the Hokies but his girlfriend made him wear the t-shirt


• Having the VT band completely embarass the Vols band - they played after every play, during every commercial, after every score - hell they may have even gone to the restroom with their instruments at one point.  I can honestly say I did not hear the Vols band until midway into the Third quarter.  The Hokies band played even when Tenn scored.  Rocky Top did not make it to our section once!

This experience was awesome and I have to thank my boy Gary for being such a good sport though his team was embarassed on national TV.  In his words before the game 'Yall are ranked 11?  Why the hell are we playing yall?'  Exactly, my friend, exactly. 

[caption id="attachment_1572" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="MVP - Hokies Band!"][/caption]