Confused by Christwire.org

So perusing a friend's blog I came across an article advising women of the signs that their husband is gay. The site is christwire.org. It has taken me several hours to decide if the site is meant as a spoof or if this is a horrendously real example of when stupidity meets the propagation of the web.

I'm still undecided.

However, in the article, women are warned with '15 commonly-accepted' signs that their husband may be using the marriage as a cloak for his closet. Gems such as

Is he fond of winking at people?

If your husband owns skinny jeans and looks at his buttocks in the mirror or if he wears an inordinate number of small-sized t-shirts, it is probably worthwhile to pay more attention to his private activities.

A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a sense, he has “let his hair down” and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one’s hands.

For a second, I thought this was just ignorance personified.  But just when I think the author is serious, I roll across a post chronicling the rampant but underground epidemic of cat rapings . . . . by rabbits.

Yep, I'll just leave it at that.....

Top 5 Famous/Rich Folks Who Don't Deserve Their Fame

[picapp align="none" wrap="false" link="term=Kim+Kardashian&iid=6829131" src="7/c/3/9/Kim_Kardashian_at_b8b5.JPG?adImageId=7739813&imageId=6829131" width="500" height="769" /]
Since I have never gone a month without at least one entry in Xpinionated, I bring to you the Top 5 Famous Rich Folks Who Don't Deserve Their Fame.

5) Jared from Subway. His diet and weight reduction plan was based on a Subway diet. Are we to believe it was due substantially to his diet and an insignificant amount of weight loss was due to exercise? And if that's the case, why aren't the The Biggest Loser episodes just a bunch of challenges to get to Subway, kinda like The Biggest Loser meets The Amazing Race...The Biggest Amazing Loser Race. Yeah, Jared shouldn't be rich and shouldn't be famous for doing what he should have been doing in the first place.

4) Flavor Flav. Quite possibly the most unattractive human being on TV. Scratch that, outside of Nene from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the most unattractive human being on TV. And close to the least talented. He was a hype man, not a rapper. Standing next to a rapper does not make one a rapper just as standing next to me does not make you funny. Out of nowhere, the part of Public Enemy that had no talent has returned to the limelight, searched for love from apparently blind and deaf women (that's the only way I can imagine they wanted Flav), and even starred (used very loosely) in his own bad (used very tightly) sitcom. Seriously, his fame hangs on the balance of an oversized clock gimmick.....

3) Kardashians. Ok, Kim is fine. Not have-her-own-show fine but fine nonetheless. The other Kardashian girls? Notoriety from what exactly?

2)Tila Tequila. Maybe I have the story wrong. I don't care enough to look it up and plus it wouldn't change her position on this list or my feelings about her one iota. But let's take a shot at this: girl opens myspace account, girl puts up progressively sexier pictures of herself on myspace, girl develops a myspace following due to pubescent nature of myspace clientele, MTV gives girl show based on myspace popularity. Meanwhile, there's some poor kid studying his butt off at a community college in between his two part time jobs that MTV, and the rest of the country could care less about.....

1) Lauren from the Hills/The Real OC. It is no coincidence that MTV plays a huge role in the top two personas on this list. Lauren's is a slightly different story. Rich kid living it up in Orange County. No particular talent. Just a willingness to let MTV cameras follow her around while she finds 1,231 ways to put the word 'like' into a sentence unnecessarily while working her way through MTV created drama. Woe is her life as her and her friends hop into the Escalade for another trip to the specialty Boutiques.....Her reward for being a rich kid with no real worries: a spin off show with the same high school drama...just without the high school..

P.S. Lauren excepts top honors in this list on behalf of the entire cast of the Real OC and the Hills.

The Bachelor - The He's Just Not That Into You Finale

Finally, The Bachelor gets good! After years of pseudo happy endings, we finally get the Jerry Springer finale we all longed for deep down.

The Bachelor: Hey, you know when I said forever and love....?
The Winner: Yes, twas the greatest day of my life
The Bachelor: Yeah, uh, my bad. I meant to say that to your home girl not you.
The Winner: I thought everything was perfect. You bastard.
The Bachelor: I can't stop thinking about shorty.
The Winner: Don't call me, don't text me.

And then Jason cries. Again. For the umpteenth time. There's no man crying on national TV. Yeah yeah...trying to get that sympathy pitch from the female demographic but you gotta know they hate you now. You took Melissa (how hot it was that she kept referring to herself in third person) and dragged her heart through the mud...on national TV. So no sympathy for you crying wooliewag!

Jason has to be the cryingest man ever to grace the airwaves. Every highlight ends with this guy crying. He cries more than the women he's playing.

Molly says she wants to know when Jason made the decision to choose Melissa. What she really wants to know is if that last night when she was giving it up to Jason, did he already know?

Molly's initial reaction? WTF! Then after a couple of minutes, wait....does that mean I win? Did he just ask me out for coffee or drinks?

The Bachelor: I made a mistake...I wanna be your lover!
The Runner-up: So what about Melissa?
The Bachelor: Uh I screwed her over....again, my bad
The Runner-up:
The Bachelor: Let's start over . . .
The Runner-up: Motherf***** please

That last bit was my interpretation but I'll wait and get her answer.......BOOOO.....she's giving him another chance. She basically rented him out to another chick for three months and now she's getting Molly's hand me downs (or tag backs or something). Oddly enough, Jason still hasn't answered the question of why he chose Molly over Melissa.

Wouldn't say we're floored? Entertained, perhaps. But floored? No. Chris Brown putting a beat down on Rihanna -- floored. Bachelor flip-flopping -- not so much floored. Historic? This host is full of 'em. There's nothing historic about a guy dating 30 women for three months and be looked at as a moral compass.......The annals of history are going to ignore this........

H-O-R-S-E cents: NBA sells slice of Americana to glue factory - CBSSports.com News, Fantasy, Video

Because H-O-R-S-E is like apple pie and virginity: innocent and fresh (not even sure what that meant, but you get the point).

H-O-R-S-E cents: NBA sells slice of Americana to glue factory - CBSSports.com News, Fantasy, Video

Heeelarious. 

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Yet Another Reason to Hate Texas

Granted this isn't new news, but it's news to me as I'm sure it may be to some of you.  In Kleberg County, Texas, the official greeting is 'Heaven-O'.  Yes, Heaven-O replaces Hello.  And yes, the reason is because Hello contains the word 'hell'.  I really hate the state of Texas....and New York.  And Boston.  And while I'm at it, Colorado kinda pisses me off too.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleberg_County,_Texas#Religious_Laws

CBS Cares

It's a quiet Sunday evening.  My wife, Devin, and I are enjoying a little 60 minutes before Amazing Race comes on.  A commercial comes on.  Below is the script of the commercial:

Woman from some CBS show:  "Ladies, do you want to make Christmas special for your husband this year?  Call his doctor and schedule a prostate exam."

My reaction (sorry ladies) was 'BITCH'.  You got me a finger in the ass for Christmas?!  Really?!  Now the women in my life who know me personally know that I make an effort to never use the B-word.  But this woman is on TV telling woman that the gift to get is a prostate exam.  I'm supposed to get you a diamond or a lexus and you're gonna get me . . . . a prostate exam.  That gets an insult hurled!

Digital Irony

A study of World of Warcraft players aged 12 - 83 has found that after some violent gaming, the players were actually more relaxed or tired than aggressive. 

"There were actually higher levels of relaxation before and after playing the game as opposed to experiencing anger but this did very much depend on personality type," said Jane Barnett, who headed the Middlesex study. Translation: If you're an aggressive jackass before you play a video game, you'll still be one after; and video games don't magically turn peaceful people into violent offenders.

Hopefully, more studies like this one will make it to the mainstream media so every violent outburst doesn't fall at the feet of gaming.   I dare wager that the same could be proven of music and other forms of media.  Though, these forms of media do effect us, the foundation for violence toward others is built on something more than an album, video game, or shoot 'em up movie. 

Technorati tags: Gaming Study, Violent Games

Possible New Tattoo

I am thinking about getting this tattoo on my back.  I have been going back and forth about whether I want to get another tattoo.  If I do get this one though, it means I will need to get a tattoo for every child we have, if I want to be fair and not show favoritism.  Whatcha think?  I may add 'Lil Man' above or below it....

New Interracial Marriage Site!!

There's a new social network for those in interracial relationships!  The site's creator is known to have a short attention span but if folks start showing up and the discussion is lively, I know for a fact that the site's creator will try to maintain a lively community.  SO GO CHECK IT OUT --->  http://www.intermarriage.ning.com

Technorati tags: Interracial, Marriage, intermarriage.ning.com

Enough Oprah!!!

Announced recently, the Discovery Health television network will soon become OWN -- Oprah Winfrey Network. 

In my mind, I can't imagine that I am the only person in this entire world that is sick and tired of the constant ego trip that Oprah Winfrey lives.  A magazine featuring her face on every issue.  A school for kids in Africa -- despite the need for such a school in any impoverished area of any metropolis in America -- that bears her name but abuses the kids.  A television talk show that has become predictable in every facet.  And now a television network?!?!

Gimme a break.  Her ego has taken over.  If a sports celebrity, say Michael Jordan, decided to start a book club, open the Jordan Boys and Girls club of Chicago, create Air Magazine with his likeness plastered on the cover every single issue, and buy half of NBA TV so we could watch all Jordan, all the time, I guarantee the critics would be plentiful.  But if Oprah does it, she's just giving back!  Look, the last thing Oprah has ever done was give back.  Oh, it may seem like she's giving back when she gives everyone in the audience a new car (even though technically, I'm sure not a single dime came from her pocket), but the money she made after that news hit the airwaves easily dwarves any 'efforts' on her part. 

Well what about the Legends Ball she through not too long ago?  She threw a party for a bunch of famous people!  I threw a party for a bunch of unfamous people and ABC did not want to film it.  Hell, I'm not sure Oprah even deserved to be in that select group of folks. 

Oprah is a fraud.  She may be loved by millions but in my mind (and this doesn't make me a hater -- and if it does who cares), she's a fraud.  An ego driven, narcissistic attention-whore.

Stupid Lyrics - Hate 'em

Not sure who sings the songs but the chorus is as follows -- roughly

We can go to the tropics, sippin' on coladas, shorty I can take you there

Or we can go the slums, where killers get hung, shorty I can take you there

We can go the slums?  Where killers get hung?  Really?  This is your pick up line, your git r done?  This is why I find myself listening to the blues channel more and more.  I love(d) hip hop.  I have defended it for years against critics and naysayers.  I've spent chunks of money on it.   But when something as idiotically stupid as this (though trivial in the scheme of things) makes a regular playlist, no wonder hip hop receives some many backlashes.

When going to the slums is a way to pick up a female companion, then the (and lord knows I hate to use the following term) 'thug' mentality has gone too far.  It's one thing to glorify ballin', not that I agree with it but I can understand the origins. But to use the slums as a place of luxury instead of as a motivation to succeed, then there's a complete lack of common sense there. 

What's happening to our culture? 

Damn Johnny Depp

Pirate attacks have increased 14% in the first nine months of 2007 according to this Cnn.com report.  Yes, that's right pirate attacks.

Who knew that pirates even still existed?  The Goonies must be elated!!  Now, instead on online piracy, we have to shimber our timbers thinking that the 'arggh, we come for your booty' is real and not just a Hollywood created phenomenon.  I guess the only thing left is to make a video game about it. 

I personally think we can place the blame on Hollywood for glorifying the thug -- pirate --  life.  I mean, I can't recall any stories of pirates before Johnny Depp's run on the Caribbean waters.  Do you think any of the pirates wear those costumes we see in the movie?  Better yet, are there any hot female pirates we see during Halloween parties?  That would be hot.....

Tip Drill

A recent graduate of Georgia Tech decided to celebrate his new alumni status.  So he, and I'm assuming friends, did what many coming of age men might do when it's time to celebrate, they went to a strip club. 

At the end of the night, the graduate had run up a $53,000 tab.  Now daddy wants to sue to get some money back.  He claims there are fraudulent charges and only the first credit card signature matches his son's signature.  Never mind that some receipts are initialed as a means of itemizing.  I know strip clubs are far from the moral high ground, but do we really think strippers and bartenders are going to take the time to fraudulently itemize receipts to get this kid's loot? 

That's why you only go to strip clubs with the exact amount of cash that you want to spend....no more, no less....

And after re-reading the article, I noticed that it's the guy's father that is pursuing criminal charges.  The article says over and over the father says this and the father says that...has the father asked the son what exactly he spent?

5 Year Anniversary!!!!!!

By the way....yesterday Sept 17th marked the five year anniversary of Xpinionated- the blog!  Yep, five long years and not a single dime made.  No income, nothing....

Anyway, there have been a lot of changes, a lot of comings and goings and it's been one heckuva ride.  WIth that said, I want to let you know that I will be doing absolutely nothing for this milestone...no contests (no one ever participated in any of my contests anyway), no giveaways( cuz I don't owe you jack, except my witty wit humorously biting style of blogging), and no super posts. 

5 years gone and here's hoping for another 15....

By the way, one of the best lines I've heard in a long time:  "He could be whore mongering all over Greensboro but he's not asking us for anything so it's fine by me!"  Reply?  "As long as he is a self sufficient whore mongerer, let him be!"

Like a shot in the mouth

  This is a gun.  A what? A gun.  This is a whistle. A what? A whistle.  This is a horrendously, catastrophically, stupendously, ridiculously stupid idea.  A what? A horrendously, catastrophically, stupendously, ridiculously stupid idea. 

At some point this undisclosed toy manufacturer, inevitably in search of the next big thing, decided that they needed an all around toy.  Something to keep junior busy for hours.  Toy guns have worked forever.  Little boys love toy guns and I have no problem with toy guns when they don't resemble in any form or fashion a real gun.  However, the line must be drawn at a toy gun designed with a whistle on the barrel.  Yep, that's right, junior is now play pretending suicide (or like my pops likes to say 'pretending sideways').  Note not only is it a toy gun with a whistle barrel, but it has a Basketball sticker on the side as well. For what it's worth, there is a basketball on top of the whistle gun.  Yeah, don't understand that either....

My First and Only Comment on Michael Vick

I wrote this as a bulletin on MySpace after receiving a bulletin condemning Vick.

-------

Innocent until proven guilty....an American tenet. It's one of those rights those soldiers in Iraq are fighting for. Or does that only apply to certain folks?

I'm sorry to respond to what I know is your heartfelt message in a way that sounds like I don't care. But quite frankly, I'm fed up. I'm fed up with the world acting like Michael Vick invented dog fighting. I'm fed up with the country caring more about dogs than humans. A little girl in Atlanta died from a stray bullet last week. There were no activists protesting for gun control.

Did Michael Vick mess up by having any association with this? Yes. Does he still deserve to be treated like an innocent man until proven guilty? Indeed!

I'm sorry to vent here but this pushed me over the limit....you think you hear a lot about it...imagine living in Atlanta and being a Virginia Tech alum?!?

And here's one last question, what happened to that politician that was involved with the missing intern Chandra Levy? Oh that's right, the media stopped covering so justice stopped pursuing...and this is a human being we're talking about!

America's Got Talent

In introducing the judges earlier this week, the following was said:

......shows such as Knight Rider and Baywatch have made David Hasselhoff an American entertainment legend

Also, why is there only one American judge on the America's Got Talent panel?

Unheard of Awards

Technorati tags: Joss Stone, Sexy, Vegetarian, PETA, awards

I was looking through a photo gallery of the Joss Stone concert at the Tabernacle in Atlanta Thursday night.  With each photo, there of course was a caption.  One caption states:

Joss Stone often performs barefoot. She was voted the World's Sexiest Vegetarian in 2005 by PETA, alongside Coldplay's Chris Martin.

Who knew PETA could take the time out from it's incessant battles against us meat hungry animal beaters to pick out a sexy vegetarian.....

A bit backwards

Halle Berry was awarded with a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame yesterday.  Great achievement for her and definitely deserved.

Here's the backwards part....Ryan Seacrest has had a star for nearly a year now.  Hmm, Halle Berry a year behind Seacrest out?  This is why I'm not a fan of Hollywood....Seacrest has to his achievement....American Idol host....no skill really required there...and a top 40 radio show....for this he is immortalized with Marilyn Monroe, Humphrey Bogart, Halle Berry, Clint Eastwood....

Great Moments in Playboy Radio

Technorati tags: Playboy, Naughty Melissa, trivia, radio, Mexico, roaches

Channel flipping on my way to work today, I decided to flip to Sirius and see what the Satellite radio provider had to offer up.  I find trusty Playboy radio and stop for a second to hear what debauchery is going on.  To my surprise, they are playing a little trivia game with Naughty Melissa.  The hosts, Kevin Kline and Cort McCown, are going tete a tete against Melissa in trivia.  Below is what happened, not word for word, but good enough:

Host1: What insect staged its first attack on humans in McCallum (sp?), Texas in 1991?

Naughty Melissa:  Human Insects?

Host2:  Yes, attack of the roachmen!  No...what insects staged their first attack on humans in McCallum, Tx in 1991?

Naughty Melissa:  Well, McCallum is on the border of Mexico, or right near it anyway, so I'm gonna say roaches.

Host1:  Can we give her a hint? 

Host2:  You can tell her that it has wings.

Host1:  Can I give her the initials?  Melissa, it is not roaches

Naughty Melissa:  Roaches have wings.

Host2:  He just told you it's not roaches!

Host1:  The initial could be a K or a B

Naughty Melissa:  Katydids?  Or maybe it's ladybugs...I remember ladybugs being everywhere around that time

At this point, I got out of the car.  Of course, the answer was Killer Bees.  And I have to imagine every Mexican in Playboy's listening public is offended at how easily Naughty Melissa made the connection between the Mexican border and roaches......