Life Lessons Learned from Daytime TV

1. If you are about to loan somebody some money and they say they will repay when they get their tax money back, do not loan them money.


2. If you are appearing on Jerry Springer, do not walk onto the stage and immediately begin kissing. You will get hit in the back of the head.


3. If you are appearing on Maury and you're just chilling in the green room, don't talk to the 'decoy'.  Don't show them private parts.  Don't brag.  Shut up and be quiet.


4. When repaying a loan, don't use cash or get a receipt.  Trust no one.


5. You can't hold somebody's stuff in lieu of rent.


6. Apparently, it is a source of pride to have a huge tax debt and not pay it. Truly something we should all strive for.


7. If you are a male, do not appear on Judge Joe Brown or Judge Judy.  Neither like the gender.


8. Zaxby's is single-handedly trying to keep as many has been celebrities working as corporately possible.


9. The budget for daytime TV commercials is considerably lower than their primetime counterparts.  So is the acting talent.

Judge Joe's Fetish

In my 'transistion time', I have been exposed to a lot of daytime tv. I have a schedule if I'm watching TV:

9am - Jerry Springer

10am - Maury

11am - Jerry

Noon - Video Games

1pm - Jerry

2pm - The Steve Wilkos Show

3pm - Judge Judy (though I hate her passionately)

3:30pm - Judge Joe Brown

4pm - Judge Judy (though I hate her incrementally more at this point of the day)

4:30pm - Divorce Court

5pm - Judge Mathis

With all that said, I've noticed something with Judge Joe Brown. Every person in the audience is female. And not a broad range of females. All relatively attractive (especially the front row) and between the ages of 25 and 40 (cuz milfs and cougars are all the rage). Judge Joe is married I'm assuming. But he's taking full advantage of his fame isn't he? The last flaunting of Judge Joe's game is at the end when the audience is leaving the courtroom. All leaving are leggy, sexy, ladies whose exact purpose is still undetermined.

Maybe I should have been a judge?

In other daytime TV nuggets, the following exchange occurred:
Steve: So why did you beat her?
Guest: Because she was immature.
Steve: How so?
Guest: Because she was immature and smoked.
Steve: You beat her because she was immature and smoked?!? She was 19, of course she was immature.

I can't make this stuff up!